


Hug and a shave.

by Livinthemoment



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Brian May, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2020-12-20 22:03:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21063893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livinthemoment/pseuds/Livinthemoment
Summary: When Roger is away with Freddie in Japan for a month, Brian slips into one of his depressive episodes. When John finds him unbathed and skinnier than normal he calls Roger home to help his boyfriend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know this could use some more editing, however! Like Brian I have been feeling blue and feel like if I dont just post it now... I’ll never post it! So enjoy ❤️

This was not how Brian imagined his morning would go, he believed it would be the same dull, gray, lifeless day that has been on repeat for the last month and a half. 

His mind and body have been telling him he doesn't need to do anything, and if he does, it won't matter. So, he lays in bed and stares out the window watching the trees stir in the wind and listening to the cars drive by. He thought he had more time to pull himself together, but his luck ran out when John stopped by the night before. Brian hadn't even heard the phone ringing, or an hour later, the knocking at the door. So John unlocked the door and made his way into the bedroom. That's where he found Brian, looking gaunt and sickly, a beard growing strong and his eyes far away. John had made him get up and into the living room, where he left him to get him something to drink and food. He sat with him for most of the day, trying to keep his mind from slipping into a deeper spiral than it was already on. John had suggested calling Roger, letting him know that he should come back early, but Brian begged him not to. He promised he would shower, get up and out of the house, Brian lied, and he should have known John wouldn't fall for it. 

That's why at 10AM, when the bedroom door slammed open and his worried boyfriend was there panting, staring at him, he shouldn't have been surprised. Roger didn't say much, he just shook his head and made his way to the bed, climbing in and wrapping his arms around Brian. Whispering into his ear that he should have called him, that he should have just told him he needed him to come home. Brian said nothing, just buried his face into Roger's neck, breathing him in as he felt a weight shift in his chest. 

"Come on. Let's get you cleaned up a bit, your beard is itchy." Brian moaned at the thought of getting out of bed but knew better than to argue with Roger. He just let himself be pulled towards the bathroom and pushed down onto the closed toilet seat lid. 

"Stay." Roger caressed his cheek and left the room quickly. Brian looked around and noticed that laundry from a month ago was still on the floor, he winced. 

"I thought it would be easier with this," Roger walked in with a dining room chair in one hand and his suitcase in the other. "I want you to sit on it and not make a fuss." When Brian didn't make a move, Roger sighed. "Brimi. Love, please. Just do this for me, you'll feel better." He walked over to the slumped man and pushed his hair back. 

It prompted Brian to look up, his vision blurred with unshed tears as Roger drew him closer to lean on him. "You'll feel better, Love. Just come over here with me, sit down and let me shave you. Afterwards, I'll get us both undressed, and we can take a hot shower... or a bath." He ran his fingers through the brunette's greasy hair, gently tugging on the ends as he stepped away and gestured to the chair. 

Brian got up as Roger went to his suitcase, rooting around for something. He let himself fall into the chair as he closed his eyes, he trusted Roger to take care of him. He hadn't heard him come back over and soon, he felt his hair being tied back and a kiss being placed on his forehead. A slight smile crept upon his lips, merely having Roger back eased the fog and static in his head. 

"Quite the rainstorm outside, huh?" Roger had started to apply the shaving cream tilting Brian's face as needed. 

"Is it raining?" Brian's voice was quiet as he tried to keep still. 

"Love, you were staring out the window. How did you not notice?" Roger faltered, concern coloured his tone. Brian was worse than he thought; he wished he had just come home earlier. 

"I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention to anything..." He paused, cracking his eyes open, locking with the blue ones in front of him. "I'm sorry, I-" his voice cracked, and he turned away. 

"Never. No, no no, Love. You don't have to be sorry, I love you, and this is a part of you. We will work through it together, you never apologize for this. You call and ask for help or you try and talk to someone else, but you NEVER apologize. You did nothing wrong," Roger grabbed his chin between his fingers, making him look back. "You did nothing wrong." He began to stroke his thumb over his chin giving him a warm smile. Brians's eyes were wide and watery, but he didn't say anything just nodded. 

"Now, sit still and let me do this. Then we can shower and curl up in bed with some takeaway. I know you haven't been eating, and I could really use some food myself." Brian hummed and closed his eye again. 

Roger started off slowly, not wanting to cut his lover. It didn't take long though, swipe after swipe Brian felt lighter. He felt like Roger was shaving away the strain from this last month, all the morose and dark energy that had weighed him down. His chest wasn't as tight, his heartbeat not as harsh in his ears, the knot in his stomach was dissolving into hunger. By the time he was done, the taller man had zoned out, listening to the small sounds Roger would make as the feeling of rough fingers had glided along his newly shaved cheek. 

Brian was startled when he felt a kiss placed on his cheek." I'm all done, Love." He waited a minute and opened his eyes when he heard the shower start. 

"I don't think that I want to shower right now, Rog." His words had no impact, the drummer kept moving around the bathroom. 

"I'll be back in a second. I'm going to order the food now so it will be here by the time we're out and dried off," he walked back over and stood between Brian's thighs. "Get undressed, and in the shower, I won't be long, and then I'll join you." With one final kiss smacked to his cheek and a hand ruffled through his curls, Roger was gone. He sat for a second in the steam-filled bathroom, taking deep breaths, dreading getting undressed. 

When he did get up, he tossed his clothes on the ground by the laundry bin and began inspecting himself in the mirror, hands gliding down the sides of his body. He could feel his ribs; every dent and ridge seemed to be dramatically etched into him. His hip bones jutted out, and when he took a deep breath, you could see his sternum and ribcage. He followed his hands down, observing how his legs were slim and wiry, how even his cock laid there unimpressive in a bed of curls. He felt ashamed, letting himself become even more skinny, forcing Roger to see him this way. He sighed as he slid his fingers over his hip bone and in towards his slightly sunken in stomach. 

"Are you in yet? The delivery is going to take about 45 minutes!" Roger's loud voice jolted Brian into action, like a child hurrying to do something his mom had told him to do hours ago. The first touch of hot water on his skin made him moan, everything going lax under the pressured water, he kept his eyes closed as he heard Roger reenter the bathroom and get undressed. Brian tried to keep the voice in his mind that was telling him to cover up, to hide his body from Roger, quiet. 

"Move over, Sasquatch." Roger poked his side as he stepped in behind Brian, his hand sliding up Brian's hips to his waste, squeezing it affectionately. 

Brian tried to move away from Roger as best he could in the tiny space, attempting to become small, well dislodging himself from Roger's grasp, all at once. Still, Roger noticed, he always noticed when something was off with Brian. 

"Don't pull away, Love." He pulled Brian back into his chest, plying his naked shoulders with kisses. "Don't pull away from me. I love you, body, mind and soul. So let me help you." He felt Roger's head fall onto his back, his breath ghosting over the wet skin. 

"I love you too, Roger." His voice was strained and he felt his hands start to shake. But he meant it; with every fibre in his body, he meant it. So he turned around to face his Love. "I love you so much." Roger looked up at him, and they stayed that way until the water started to go cold. Just staring into each other's eyes, arms lock around the other. Roger coming home wouldn't fix it, sometimes he felt nothing would, but it helped to have him there sometimes. Even if he only gave him a hug and a shave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Tumblr is Sentiment-to-treachery... I know, I know! Its lame but 🤷♀️. Hit me up or send me a message.. if you have any suggestions or comments.. or even and requests.. I love to write little blurbs. Love ya all ❤️


	2. Chapter 2

The shower wasn't as eventful as Brian had expected it to be, Roger helped him clean his body with firm, sure hands, shooing his shakey ones away. Once they were out and wrapped in fluffy towels, he ushered them into the bedroom. There was a knock on the door, and Roger brushed a kiss to Brian's cheek and telling him to get in bed and not worry about pyjamas, just underwear, and hurried off in only a towel to get the takeaway. 

When they were finally in bed together, with the radio playing in the background, lights off with a few candles lit. Roger reached over and grabbed the food. Pressing it into Brian's hands, he urged him to eat a few bites of rice. Roger started to dig into his own portion, dropping an extra piece of steamed broccoli in Brian's container when the other is distracted. 

After they're done, Roger puts the leftovers on the side table and prods at Brian till he's lying on his stomach between the blonde's legs, his face mashed into his neck. He can't help but comment inwardly on how weightless Brian seems on top of him. He tries to shake the fact that he barely ate anything and begins stroking the slowly drying hair. 

"How did the trip go?" Brian's voice sounds far away and unused, but the breath that ghosts over Roger's skin, warm him from the inside and helps ease the discomfort of being apart. 

"It was okay. Lots a' posh idiots talking on and on, you know how these press things go. I missed you, though, could hardly focus properly, worrying about you here in this house." He tries to lighten the mood, ruffling Brian's hair. It seems to have the opposite effect because Brian starts to cry. He's fucked up, and he knows he has. His boyfriend can't go away without worrying he'll starve himself to death.

Brian starts to sob, his body shaking as he tries to gasp in enough breath to calm down. Roger coxes Brian to come up more, so he's straddling him.

"Shush, Love. Please don't cry anymore. It's all going to be okay." He rubs his back, pulling him that much closer. "I wanted to come home. Sometimes..." He drifts off when Brian lets out another harsh sob. Roger brings his hands up to Brain's hair, pulling it just enough to urge him to look up. When he does, all he sees are his lovers' sad, hazel eyes. "...Sometimes, when I'm away from you for too long, everything feels heavy and slowed down. Like everything just isn't right, beds are too big, nights too long. I'm no longer the carefree, happy-go-lucky drummer everyone knows. Brian, you aren't the only one who feels like the world is too much when you are alone." 

Brian has stopped crying enough too focus on what his boyfriend is telling him; a few tears still escape, but mostly his heartaches in a different way, knowing that Roger has been hurting and he didn't know. 

"Hey, hey, I know that look. You don't get to blame yourself for those feelings. It's just what happens when you can't be with the one you love. And while it hurts," he pokes Brian's cheek. "It will pass because we always find each other and help each other to come back to ourselves. Before, during, and always." He leans in and gently kisses Brian's lips. 

The kiss is wet with tears from both of them. Brian lifts his face and looks at Roger in the dim light; he stares hard for a moment. Trying to comprehend when his whole world transformed into his best friend. He leans in and connects their lips again, as Roger pushes up and they deepen the kiss. Brian starts to feel arousal flood his body, and it brings a sense of relief. He grinds down into Roger's lap, causing both to let out sharp moans. They break the kiss as Brian keeps grinding, panting into each other mouths. The blonde brings his hands up, and Brian expects them to go to his ass or his waist. But they travel to his face, pushing some hair back and steading him to look into his eyes. 

"Do you want this, Bri? You have to tell me because we don't have to do anything more than this." Roger is out of breath, pupils dilated, and a fine layer of sweat is starting to coat both bodies. Brian only whines in return, pushing himself down again. 

He doesn't speak, scared that he'll say that a part of him never wants Roger to look at him or touch him again. Or, that a more significant part craves for the blonde to do both and never stop. But he can't say anything; he needs Roger to be able to love him still when he's like this, be able to connect to him again, body and soul. He does nothing in the end, just lets out a sobbed, please, and Roger is pulling himself, so his back is against the headboard, Brian perched in his lap. 

They waste no time pulling off underwear and grabbing the lube. Soon enough, Roger has his face hidden in Brian's neck and his fingers somewhere else. Brian is a moaning mess, his head lolled back, and he can't stop the tears. He feels something; his body is feeling something that isn't just unpleasant numbness. Roger hits a particular spot and Brian pushes back, his fingers clenching in Roger's hair. 

"Mm, I'm ready. Please, Roggie." That does it. Roger can't take it when Brian is pliant like this. Begging him like Roger has everything he has ever wanted, begging him to do anything as if he can take all his pain away with just his touch. Its too much power for one person, but it doesn't stop him from delivering a few good thrusts of his fingers in the same spot. Brian is crying out, working his hips along with him, and when Roger pulls them out with a wet squelching sound, his cock twitches where it's nestled next to Brians. 

"Lift a bit, Love." Brian raises on his knees, legs are shaky with the effort. Roger grabs himself and slicks his cock up with extra lube. It's been almost two months since they've had sex, he doesn't want to hurt Brian. But with a gentle hand on his boyfriend's bony hip, he guides himself in. 

It's hot and tight, punching the air out of Roger's lungs every time they do this. He believes that if he only had an hour to live, he would like his last moments spent deep inside his lover, holding him and coaxing those sweet little moans from his throat. 

Brian takes his time lowering himself; he keeps his eyes closed and tries to feel every vein and ridge of the blonde. They do switch up rolls in the bedroom, both enjoy this part, but it's different for Brian. He likes the connection, the fact that he is taking in a piece of Roger. It settles him in a way he never would have imagined, that full feeling that almost overwhelms you when he pulls back and pushes forward at the perfect angle that makes them both jolt. His favourite part, though is when Roger stops for a second and finds Brian's eyes, he'll rub his cheek and kiss the tears gathered into the corners of his eyes away, whispering how much he loves him. It always feels like his heart will stop in these moments, but he would kill again and again for them.

"God, Bri. You feel so perfect. Always so perfect for me," Roger leans forward and nips at Brian's chest. Brian is almost fully seated, but that prompts him to push down faster, a ragged moan torn from his lips, hands fastened in the blonde hair. 

"R-rog," his voice comes out whiny and choked, his tongue getting stuck, not fully able to get the words he wants out. I love you, he wants to say, I want to keep you forever, right here. But he can't get it out, so he just shifts his hips and rolls them gently. The pace is slow and unhurried, both of them drowning in waves of pleasure as they try to find their rhythm. Roger finds his footing and starts to thrust up into the tight heat, causing small moans to be punched out of Brian with each movement.

Roger groans when Brian stretches his body back, resting his hands on the blonde's thighs, "You're so fucking beautiful, Bri." He runs his hands up Brian's legs over his hips and sides. Finally settling on his chest, tweaking his nipples, causing Brian's mouth to hang open while he pants and whines. 

The sound of their skin slapping is almost deafening in the sweaty room. Roger is trying to nail the brunettes prostate with every hard thrust, while Brian is just trying to keep up. His dick is slapping his taut stomach, a few small pearls of precum spilled over and down the side of it. Roger aches to collect it on his fingers and make Brian clean it up, but he knows that tonight isn't the night for that. Tonight is about reconnecting, letting the simple act of sex bring a semblance of healing to both of them. 

“R- - rog.. I can't, unnh." His head tipped forward as he tried to talk between thrusts. Roger could see the muscles in his thighs begin to coil and tighten from the strain. 

"What.. love..?" Roger was out of breath too, but he wanted Brian to say it. He wanted him to ask for help, beg him to flip them over and take care of him. 

"Nhnnn, please. Please, roggie." A tear slipped down Brian's cheek, and it caused Roger to slow his thrusts down. A hand came up to his face, brushing the wetness away with his thumb. 

"Ask me, love. That's all you have to do." Brian nodded at him, taking a deep breath, his hips still slightly rolling. 

"I- can we switch? I want you to..." he looked away as his voice got quite, "I need you to help me." Within seconds Roger had them flipped, and he was between Brian's legs, lining himself back up and pushing in. 

The guitarist let out a surprised huff before he keened at being filled again. His hands snaked around Roger's neck, urging him to lean down and seal their lips. 

They continue to slowly gain the rhythm back, keeping their lips together or close enough to feel the other gasping. It was almost overwhelming, all the feelings of being together after so long apart. 

"Bri, I'm close. Do you want me to -" But Brian cut him off with a shake of his head and a needy moan. 

"No, I can do it." Roger adored when he got like this when he was so lost in pleasure that he didn't need anything but him. 

Picking up the pace, Brian pulled his legs tighter and higher around Roger's middle. The sounds in the room were beyond obscene, and he could feel wetness running down the cleft of his ass onto the sheets. Feel the jolts of pleasure every time Roger hit the right spot deep inside of him, causing him to clench around the drummer, which only made him thrust harder. 

Brians orgasm hit him out of nowhere; within a second, his muscles tightened, and his back arched as he let out a loud whimper. His cock shot cum up their stomach to their chests, his ass clenching around Roger, almost triggering his orgasm. His cum shot deep inside of Brian as he latched onto the taller man's shoulder hard enough to taste copper. Brian did nothing but let out another chocked moan and jut his hips up into Roger's final sloppy thrusts. 

"unnh" he couldn't help the noise that slipped out when roger gently pulled himself out. The blonde fell to the side, his chest heaving as he stared at the ceiling, he could hear Brian's breath coming in heavy and uneven. With a lot of effort, he turned his head towards the other, letting his eyes travel down the guitarist's sweaty body, watching as he shakes with the aftershocks of his orgasm. 

"Come 'ere, Love." Roger opened his arms when the other moved as if on cue, tucking himself into Roger's side. His hands came up to draw along Roger's stomach, noting that his cum was starting to dry. 

"Grab a shirt; it's going to irritate your skin." He mumbled into the warm skin, feeling it raise under the light brush of his lips. Roger grunts and reaches over to grab some discarded napkins, using them to wipe up the mess on them both. 

"This will do till we can shower tomorrow morning, but for now, sleep." Roger's eyes were already starting to droop, his voice deeper as he starts to slip into post-sex bliss. 

"Rog, I love you." 

"I love you too, Bri." 

They both shut their eyes as they curled tighter around each other. Roger pulled the blankets up over them and placed a kiss on the fluffy mound of hair tickling his neck. 

"I love you so much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking of maybe doing a third part showing Roger's own emotional issues and how Brian comforts him. idk, what do you think?

**Author's Note:**

> Should I add a second part with some really soft smut?? comment &let me know!
> 
> My Tumblr is Sentiment-to-treachery... I know, I know! Its lame but 🤷♀️. Hit me up or send me a message.. if you have any suggestions or comments.. or even and requests.. I love to write little blurbs. Love ya all ❤️


End file.
